My newborn was a chubby healthy-seeming 9-pounder. We were about 12 hours away from taking him home. He was breastfeeding less and less and then not at all. He hadn’t pooped yet, but at two-days old they kept saying, “It will come. Don’t worry.”

He got really fussy. His pee had orange crystals, indicating dehydration.

And then he went downhill fast. Belly got hard and distended. Started vomiting dark-green bile. Screaming in pain. Rushed to the NICU. 14 IV attempts. Shaved off his baby fuzz-hair to finally get a vein to work.

We didn’t know what was happening, what was wrong with him. We were shocked and scared out of our minds. When the surgeon wished me a “Happy Mother’s Day,” I almost punched him. (Days later Babycakes had an emergency colostomy and they confirmed his diagnosis - Hirschsprung Disease.)

Lots of well-meaning souls offered their help during this horribly difficult time. As someone who’s been there, here are my suggestions for helping a mom (or dad) who’s going through a rough time. The key is to BE SPECIFIC. Don’t say, “Let me know how I can help.” She doesn’t even know what day of the week it is, or when she ate last. Tell her how you can help her - or just go ahead and do it.

1. Help the mom take care of herself by bringing her meals, toiletries, clean clothes, a good book. Offer to sit with the sick child while she gets out for a bit.

2.Be there if she wants to talk, and show that you care and are thinking of her. But don’t bug her for updates, since you’re probably one of many and she might not be ready to talk.

3. Help her keep her home running. Offer to do specific jobs: mow the lawn/shovel the driveway, get her mail, take out her garbage (especially if she’s at the hospital). If you can, tactfully remind her to pay her bills - that’s something I WISH someone would have said to me.

4. Help her family. Babysit, or even better, do something special with her healthy kids. Bring meals to her family. Drive her kids to school, activities or appointments.

5. Be extra mindful of what you say and do. She’s probably extra-sensitive (and can you blame her?) so don’t say, “Everything is going to be OK” or “He’ll be just fine after this surgery” - because 1. You don’t know that and 2. It could come off as minimizing the situation/her feelings.

This year, we had a blissfully uneventful, and very happy Mother’s Day, with our two healthy little boys. But I know that not every mom was so lucky.

Have a good chunk of time? Sure, then go for the classic: Fry her up on the griddle.

It’s rare that I have a solid 12-15 minutes in a row, so my favorite technique is using the waffle maker. It takes roughly 5 minutes. Coat the outside of the bread with a quick blast of cooking spray, slap on some processed cheese slices, and you’re good to go. A blicky light tells you when it’s done, and it comes out in cool, wafffely, break-away pieces.

And then there’s the quickie, no-muss, no fuss technique. Just toast a couple pieces of bread - I prefer them on the darker side. When they’re done, sprinkle with some shredded cheese, microwave for about 15 seconds - as a long as it takes to melt said cheese - and you’ve got yourself a grilled cheese, in a pinch. (My personal fav is pumpernickel with swiss.)

What’s Zumba? Here’s what they say at zumba.com: Zumba® fuses hypnotic latin rhythms and easy to follow moves to create a dynamic fitness program that will blow you away.

In my words, it’s two cute, hip blond girls doing amazing things with their hips and the rest of us stumbling along, laughing our heads off, trying to imitate them. There’s a lot of hip-hop and latin dance moves set to funky, upbeat rhythms. And I can’t emphasize enough how much FUN it was.

There were no “counts” or “steps” - they didn’t even give us verbal cues, just started doing moves and we followed along the best we could. At the end of every song, we all laughed and clapped. And I couldn’t wait for the next song to come on.

After an hour, I was sweating like crazy and my face looked like a ripe tomato. But this wasn’t anything like the kill-my-knees step classes I’ve taken, or worse yet, the endless minutes on a recumbent bike that are about as exciting as watching paint dry.

I wouldn’t even put it in the same category as exercise. It was like a party, a dance lesson and maybe even a little bit of therapy all rolled into one.

If you don’t mind looking a little silly - and don’t worry, you won’t be the only one - then I highly suggest Zumba.

My 3.5-year-old has been taking a preschool class there for six weeks, and he loves it. It was time to sign up for the next session, and I noticed that it’s 50 bucks cheaper for the class if you’re a member. And the cost per month per family is $63 - so for the extra cost of, like, a lunch entree and maybe a drink, we get a pool whenever we want it, an awesome workout room and a bunch of drop-in classes.

 Oh and the best part? They have Child Watch services while you’re working out. I’ll be the first to say that I was leery about the quality of a babysitting service that isn’t certified and won’t change diapers. But when we took the tour, the boys liked the Child Watch staff and play area so much that they didn’t want to leave. Literally, we couldn’t drag them away. So we finished the rest of the tour without them!

I’m all about vibes and gut reactions, and I’ve never had the slightest concern about the kids being there. So far, my husband and I went on a lap-swimming and hot tub “date.” And I went to an aerobics class and took a whole shower by myself without two little boys yanking on the shower curtain and throwing balled-up socks into the tub.

And, in fact, right now my husband and preschooler are burning some energy at the pool, on this icky rainy day, while I’m at home cuddling a sick baby.

Tomorrow I’m going to try zumba!

Like I said, we’ve only been members for one week - but it’s been one awesome week!

PS - My son calls it “The Wide.” Read about his other funny pronunciations at http://betterthanboogers.blogspot.com/ 

A well-intentioned friend bought some G diapers for her son and barely used them. So she shared them with us. G Diapers are designed to have flushable inserts - yes, I said flushable.

Personally, I’m too freaked out about clogging my toilet (or someone else’s) to use the inserts - and by chucking them into the diaper pail, I might as well be using disposables. So instead I use the G Diapers as covers and simply put a folded cloth diaper inside. We already had a bunch of those sitting around the house, and my friends passed along a bunch more.

And I’ve been really impressed with how it’s really no big deal to velcro on a G Diaper, and then when it’s used, just rinse off the cloth-diaper insert and throw it in the laundry. I’m constantly doing laundry anyway, so what’s another load a week? My only added expense was some OxiClean, which isn’t such a bad thing to have around the house anyway.

As for the “ick” factor? I’m over that. Way over that. After two kids, I’ve scrubbed countless onsies and jamies and cribsheets caked with poo. Blowout diapers come with the territory. Any parent could tell you about the explosions that somehow make it up to Baby’s shoulders and even hair. After awhile, you just get used to it. So rinsing out some diapers, piece of cake.

I will admit that I prefer disposables at night, since they wick away wetness which helps prevent diaper rash. I also use disposables when we’re traveling, so I don’t have to lug around dirty diapers.

But otherwise I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how this green diapering alternative is really no big deal - plus it saves a lot of money, means fewer trips to the store and a much lighter garbage pail.

But there’s no doubt that he’s also very creative.

Take this morning.

I hear an electric buzzing. Yes, buzzing. Coming from behind the couch. It’s a fav hiding spot for my 3.5-year-old, so immediately, my pulse kicks up a notch.

I’m envisioning the the dustbuster.

Or an electric shaver. What could he destroy with that?

Or what about a battery-powered screwdriver? OMG! He could be screwing holes in his arms!

I bound to the couch, entering freak-out mode but not quite to full-fledged panic status.

And there he is. Sweet as an angel. Trucks lined up in a row. And he’s carfully edging the sides of his imaginary highway with an old, used-up electric toothbrush.

I take a deep breath. Remind myself that he’s OK.

Then, I ask him gently, “Whacha doin’?”

Without looking up, he answers: “Street sweeper.”

That is, if you have small kids. Like me.

In my house, we’re flat-out sleep dysfunctional. Our routine, and I use that term very lightly, involves an intricate dance of bed switching, breastfeeding, bathroom breaks, crying, whining, more bed switching, kicking, snoring … and very little sleep.

We tried the Ferber method. And it did work. It got Babycakes to sleep through the night for a good week and a half straight (he was nearly 10 months when he first STTN).

[You can read all about that in my other blog.]

But alas, as these things happen, then we all got sick. And then baby got two teeth. And then we spent a weekend out of town. And then he got sick again. And then he got two more teeth.

So we’re trying Ferber for a third time, starting tonight. I think I’ll call this attempt: Operation TIRED (This Is Really Excruciating, Damnit).

Basically, you give the child two warnings by counting “one” and “two” for each instance unacceptable behavior. When you get to “three” they go into time out. Our time outs last one minute per year of age (two minutes for a two-year-old, three minutes for a three-year-old, etc.).

However, we’ve had a few blips with this discipline style. I wrote about one of them in my other blog recently.

We had another one of those moments at dinner tonight.

My son is learning his numbers. We like to make little games out of counting, so tonight he says very slowly and deliberately: “One!”

“Great,” I said. “What’s next?”

“Two,” he says, grinning.

“And then?” I ask.

“Time out!” he says, triumphantly, without a missing beat.

It’s an exciting time, helping them explore the world of flavors and textures for the very first time. But it can also be disheartening, since there isn’t much out there for babies who don’t have the dexterity (or teeth) to eat table food, but are ready for more complex tastes.

Always up for an experiment, I requested a food processor for Christmas, and have been making my own babyfood ever since, using whatever fresh fruits and veggies look good in the grocery story. Sometimes I’ll throw in some (thawed) frozen ones too. Just flash freeze them in ice cube trays, then store them in a freezer bag.

And when I’m not up for do-it-yourselfing, I’ve been impressed with Earth’s Best babyfoods, specifically the second-stage dinners. They include wholesome-yet-unique ingredients like zucchini, garbanzo beans and lentils - and even a few mild spices. Plus, everything in them is organic.

1. I just recently sang the praises of White Cloud diapers in this blog. And naturally, my local Wal-Marts have suddenly stopped carrying them. (I’ve been trying a couple alternatives, and will post about that later.)

2. I just bought a big jug of formula. We don’t go through a ton, since I’m still nursing. And Babycake is fast approaching 1, which means we can switch to cow’s milk in a few weeks. So I don’t anticipate buying a whole lot more formula in the future, if any. So after unloading groceries, I grab the mail. What’s in there? A $5-off Enfamil check, and a $2-off Enfamil coupon from Target. Doh!

3. Similarly, I just got a car tune up, which cost me to the tune of $400. Again, come home, pick up the mail and what do I find? A coupon from Volkswagen for $20 off my next service - and it explicitly says, “No prior service,” or I would have turned around and gone right back to the dealer.

I’m a little afraid to buy anything else right now.

(Vent over.)